Time To Go

Death 6

On blackened wings

He’ll come for you

You may fight

Or welcome him

It makes no difference

You cannot escape

Death 2

Like a thief in the night

Draining you

You can’t move

Can’t speak

or breathe

Nothing else matters

Death 7

He carries you away

To a kingdom of Death

Decay

Destruction

Despair

Darkness

Death 4

He sits on his throne

Skulls

Bones

Souls surround you

They cry out

Welcoming you

Death 3

You are all alike

The emptiness you felt

Gone

Brothers & Sisters

The Angel takes your hand

As you wander through your new home

Death 1

He smiles

His task is done

For now

But he is never finished

You never know

Who will be next

grim reaper 2

  Death 5

Death 8

Death 9

Death 10

SEAN PATRICK FLANERY!!!

I know not everyone following my blog will be interested in this & you don’t have to read it but I wrote about my first meeting with Flanery on my previous blog stalkingflanery.tumblr.com so I figure I may as well post about this one.

My friend Micki & I had planned on meeting Flanery again in Nashville this past October…he originally wasn’t even coming to Austin but right before Nashville we found out he was gonna be there. We figured on going to both but I ended up not able to go to Nash so Micki went by herself. Of course her reviews about Flanery were enough to make me anticipate Austin even more LOL I hoped to meet Norman Reedus as well but since I didn’t have a VIP ticket I figured NO WAY that was gonna happen. Hoped to maybe get a glimpse.

DAY 1:

So Friday 11/22 came around and the weather was expected to be brutal…had already planned on taking a 1/2 day so we could get there early enough to pick up our wristbands. I was already on an emotional rollercoaster from other personal stuff and wasn’t in the best mood. Micki found out the weather was getting possibly worse over the weekend…we considered not even going but with all the crap I had going on I really really really needed this time away from everything. I considered even going alone but she was not gonna let that happen…and if we didn’t go and the weather DIDN’T get bad we’d have been kicking ourselves for not going. We decided to meet in Hillsboro, leave one car there and drive down together. It rained on me quite a bit and once we met up it kept going. Traffic was actually not so bad…we made it in better time than I thought. We’d booked a hotel in Round Rock…we got there, dropped off all our stuff, freshened up a bit just in case and headed to the convention center. It was right at rush hour so getting through downtown Austin was a nightmare…plus it was raining, dark & we had no idea where we were going. We found the convention center finally & the parking garage but getting into that proved a bit difficult as well. Once we did park, to get to the center we had to walk down an alley any serial killer woulda been totally at home hanging out in (Marcus??) plus it was cold…fortunately it wasn’t raining at that point & we were only a block from the center and it was REALLY warm inside. We found the ticket area and fortunately we were able to whip right in & out of that. Once we got inside the actual room where it was held & walked around a bit I was a bit shocked at how small it was. I’m not totally knocking it but compared to Texas Frightmare it was TEENY. I mean this was THE con…Wizard World…the one everyone always talked about. I just assumed it would have been much bigger. Anyway, we made our way to the celebrity area & found Flanery within a few minutes. We were amazed that Reedus wasn’t around…turns out he was only gonna be there Saturday & Sunday. It was around 7pm and we’d found some other friends Martha & December we were meeting up with…Flanery’s line wasn’t extremely long and we decided to just see if we could get through it before they closed at 8. Plus December & I had a question we needed to ask him…something we’d tried several times to get him to answer on Twitter but he never had.  Micki got this video of him dancing…it’s blurry & really short but…damn Flanery…

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=611828055544770&set=vb.100001527431101&type=2&theater#

I snapped some pics while we were waiting for our turn.  I love this first one…he just turned at the right moment & noticed me with my phone and posed LOL

Flanery 1 Flanery 2 Flanery 3

There was a girl not far in front of us who was a BJJ student. She asked him for some tips & I got a few pics and a video of his demo…

Flanery 4 Flanery 5

http://youtu.be/JCdUAycz87U

So I decided to get a Devlin pic to have him sign…love that crazy Devlin! We finally got up there and I’m seriously trying to remember anything I said to him LOL it is so weird! He was being really funny & crazy the whole time.  We had overheard Gabby say earlier that he didn’t take his ADD meds that day LOL I don’t think he needs them…I like him just fine without.  So he looked at the pic & was saying “I love that dude he’s my adversary” and other stuff about Devlin. Just carrying on a whole convo with him as he signed the pic. Micki was taping this whole thing when we asked him our question…he laughed & said he couldn’t answer on camera so she stopped recording & told us the answer…it’s a secret & I’m not telling heehee but here’s that video…

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=613150805412495&set=vb.100001527431101&type=2&theater#

Flanery 8

I’m just really glad we stopped by the hotel first & freshened up cuz it was time for a pic with him LOL

Flanery 7

Then I asked for a hug & he gave me that patented take-your-breath-away Flanery hug & squeeze. Of course I had to smell him again. I SWEAR Micki got something signed and a hug (maybe) but I can’t remember ANY of it LOL the Flanery pheromones were on overload. Since it was closing time we decided to leave & find food…all I’d had to eat all day was a Snickers and I was starving! We stopped at a Chick-Fil-A and then SuperTarget to pick up snacks & a few other things we needed for the next day. Got back to the hotel & got everything ready for tomorrow & day 2!

DAY 2:

Well I slept ok that night but Micki got like an hour of sleep. The con opened at 10 so once we got ready we headed out, got breakfast & headed toward the convention center. Once we got there I was VERY glad we got our wristbands the night before cause the line to get them that day was CRAZY insane. So of course we got in & found Flanery again as I was texting my other friend Miranda who we were meeting up with. We finally hooked up with her & her friend Katy…December was with us also & got in his line again.  Micki & I snapped a few pics of him while we were waiting…

Flanery 10 Flanery 11 Flanery 14Flanery 57 Flanery 58 Flanery 53

It wasn’t really long & once we got there he was talking to someone in front of us but noticed me & Miranda were wearing our Twempire shirts. He loved it and said something to us about it but I can’t remember what it was HAHA. He was talking to December…not sure what they were talking about but they were whispering lol

Flanery 54

Then she gave him her gift first…a Luby’s gift card which he LOVED!

Flanery 59 Flanery 60 Flanery 61

Flanery 12 Flanery 13

Then it was Miranda’s turn…she had him sign her Powder DVD and gave him her gift. It was in a really cool box and he was a bit apprehensive about opening it…here’s the video of that…

http://youtu.be/oky7Mj2aj4U

I got to him & had him sign my CD…he also signed my shirt…just reached over the table & signed right on my boob…I was like umm OK Flanery LOL wasn’t about to complain!

Flanery 51Flanery 50

Then I asked if he’d do a favor & call my friend Becca & bitch her out for not being there. He asked why she wasn’t there & I just said she lives in Ohio LOL Here’s the video of that call…

http://youtu.be/NFfEyyuJ7fc

Then Micki gave him the gift we brought…a zombie killer Nerf gun, some extra ammo, silly string and some Reeses. He took the gun & stuff out of the bag & I don’t think he even noticed there was silly string & Reeses in the bag. He started ripping the box off the gun like a kid at Christmas! The sound is kinda off & it’s a bit blurry but here’s a video of that…

http://youtu.be/5pPk85sjmfY

Then she asked him to call our friend Sunny who runs a FB page for him and he’s mentioned her in some of his videos. She didn’t answer but I got the call on video.

http://youtu.be/VCDB0TXJJDc

At one point there was a commotion behind us & we heard Rooker…He & Flanery started yelling “Tittie love” and Flanery started pointing at & pinching his nipples! It was hysterical!

Flanery 56

Then Miranda & I got our picture taken with him again…

Flanery 16

I asked for another hug which I got (YAY!!) and asked if I could kiss him on the cheek he said “Sure thing!” so I gave him a big smooch LOL he has really soft skin!  Miranda wanted a hug then…she’d never gotten one from him the first time she met him in May and he was happy to oblige!  As a matter of fact he started dancing with her and it kinda looked like he was humping her ROFL!  We couldn’t stop laughing!  Well it was about 12:30 by this time & we were starving…there was a pizza stand in the corner so we made our way over there to get something to eat. Once we got that we went up to the floor where his panel was going to be held at 2. We also needed to charge our phones so we found some outlets on the wall and sat eating while our phones charged. There weren’t many people waiting so we just hung out for a while. Once it got around 1-1:30 we went over to the room entrance to wait. We got in line…there wasn’t much of one yet when we found out we could just go in to whatever panel was being held & sit in. Once it began to clear we could move seats if there were any closer. So we went inside and got to sit in on Ralph Macchio’s panel. Being a big Karate Kid & Outsiders fan it was pretty cool…and that guy has not aged ONE BIT! They ended his right around 2pm and I was talking to Miranda when all of a sudden Flanery walked in. It was a bit weird as I assumed the moderator would come out & introduce him like they did with Ralph but there was no moderator. Oh well Flanery does just fine by himself he doesn’t need one LOL. It was all just classic Flanery with new stuff sprinkled in. We got some video of parts of the panel…this first one was the question I asked him…

http://youtu.be/Y5LkeRhi3BA

This one he talks about why he did Dexter and includes a story about Donut (D to the O)

http://youtu.be/SRSfKuySR5o

This one he talks about cheesecake, upbringing, ungrateful actors & Texas

http://youtu.be/dArqgf4uqVQ

here he talks about growing up in Louisiana & Texas, his granddaddy, BDS & Rocco

http://youtu.be/stEbHI1JIoc

Here’s the end of the panel

http://youtu.be/k7ZkbGraYPM

Once the panel was over we made our way back down to the main floor. We could see the ticket area and were just amazed at the amount of people still waiting to get their wristbands. We were meeting some other friends to do a group photo-op with Flanery so I was texting Apryl to see where they were. We found our way back to Flanery’s booth and I got my first Reedus sighting! We were standing at the outside of Flanery’s area & watching him interact with the fans…trying to sneak a few pics but the workers weren’t having that.  There was a commotion going on somewhere at a booth down front…Miranda & Katy went to see what was going on while Micki & I stood watching Reedus. I turned around at one point & saw Gabby walking towards me and then noticed Sean right behind her. I just grinned & said “Sean!” & he put his hand on my shoulder as he passed me, smiled & said “Whassup ladies!” He walked back into his booth area & I knew he’d be leaving again soon for the photo op so once Miranda returned we headed in that direction to find Apryl. It took time locating her but we found her in the front of Flanery’s line & waited til they were ready for the photos. They headed us over to the photo area when we saw them bringing Sean over. As soon as we got in the room he saw us, opened his arms up & said “Come to me babies!” Apryl got to him first & he gave her a big hug…I was second & he pulled me in for a hug as everyone else gathered round. There were 7 of us in the pic with him…normally they don’t let that many in but Apryl had made special arrangements. We scrunched in as tight as we could…I was pressed up really close to his left side. The photographer had to re-take the pic at least 3 maybe 4 times cuz someone kept blinking but I was totally fine with that considering my position…I could have stood right there all day!  And at one point he called us his “hussies” too LOL

Flanery 52

So once that was over we made our way back over to his booth. We knew he had dual photo-ops with Reedus after his singles and it was close to 4:30 when he got back. We decided to go through his line one more time because we really needed to see if we could get him to talk to Sunny. I figured I’d get another pic signed so we got back in line to wait. Funniest fangirl moment we saw: there was a girl in front of us who was having a complete meltdown. She was a tiny little thing…not a kid but I think she may have been an inch or so shorter than me (I’m only 5’1″) but she was just bouncing & squealing & he was making comments about dog whistles…it was so funny then he walked around the table, hugged her & picked her up off the ground…I thought she was gonna pass out when he put her down! It was so funny! So once we got back up to him Micki had him sign a pic for her…

Flanery 40 Flanery 41 Flanery 42

Then we made another attempt to call Sunny…and she answered this time! Here’s the video…

http://youtu.be/L6pw_oZhPuk

Then he recorded something else for her to let her know that was actually him on the phone…

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=10201154598046639&set=vb.1220490062&type=2&theater#

I had him sign my pic…

Flanery 49

then asked him to give a shout-out to my friend Jacob who’s gonna be shipping out soon as he’s enlisted in the Navy…here’s that clip…

http://youtu.be/ofa0RDSoPdU

Flanery 43 Flanery 44

Miranda got another pic signed & asked if he’d do another shout-out to our friends Becca, May & Skippy…here’s that…

http://youtu.be/0cPHFMJRO5A

And I got a couple of pics of him while he was taping that…

Flanery 45 Flanery 46 Flanery 47

Then Miranda showed him her shoes where she had “Shine Until Tomorrow” written on them…he signed one and took a pic of them…

Flanery 48

So then we said goodbye to Sean…as we walked away watching him with the other fans we wanted to say goodbye one more time so we waited til he wasn’t in the middle of a pic or anything and all yelled “BYE SEAN!” He looked up and yelled “Chicks!” or it could have been “Chickies!” I’m not sure which but he laughed & we walked off. It was like 5:30 by this time…con was open til 7 but there was nothing else we wanted to do so we decided to call it a day.  We had to leave early the next morning to get back to Dallas before the really bad weather hit so we said goodbye to Miranda & Katy & made our way back to the car. All in all it had been amazing. Flanery made the trip totally worth it and I’ve kinda fallen for him all over again…Flangirl for life!

PS: we found this video on YouTube later…this apparently happened after Reedus first got there & we were waiting upstairs for the panel. Looks like Flanery DID use the silly string we got him…and the gun LOL

http://youtu.be/Mt-BQXmuHPE

Reality

I feel like I’m being pulled under

Drowning

Waves crashing over me

I can’t stand up

Whenever I feel like I’m gaining

It knocks me down again

I can’t breathe

Life flashing before me

Memories

So much time

I just wanna give in to the darkness

Let it take me

Wash me away with the tide

It would be so easy

But I can’t

I have to fight

For those who love me

I have to make it out of this

I can’t let it break me

Goodbye

wedding 2

We wanted to be the perfect couple

Opposites attract is what they say

No one more opposite than us

I wanted to love you

Convinced myself I did

Manipulation

Fear of rejection & loneliness

You didn’t want it but

We said yes too quickly

It was a failure from the start

angry couple 1

Anger & resentment

Tempers flaring

Verbal torture

Took its toll

I wasn’t perfect either

I had my faults

You changed, I didn’t

You tried to tell me

But I wouldn’t listen

We grew apart til

Only friendship remained

Now it’s all we have

How did we survive so long?

25 years

Gone

boy at the beach

Our beautiful boy

The most important thing in the world

Will he be ok?

How will he take it?

We have to be strong

I’ve moved on

In a lot of ways

You’re dealing with it

In your own way

But

Saying goodbye

Will not be easy

It’s the only choice

Anymore

goodbye 1

Dreams

sex 5

I dream of us together

Gazing into your eyes

Your hand touches my cheek

I close my eyes

As your lips find mine

Wrapping my arms around you

Pulling you closer

sex 12

Lips part

Tongues entwined

Clothing quickly discarded

Kneeling

sex 13

My tongue slowly explores

Every inch

Your heavenly scent

You’re so close to the edge

Not so fast

sex 14

Kisses down my neck

I feel the pull deep inside

As your mouth finds my breast

sex 10

Gasping & moaning

I open wide

As your fingers explore

Every fold

You move lower

And take a taste

sex 11

Arching my back

Grabbing the sheets

Juices flowing

You spread me wide

As you enter

sex 6

Exquisite

Meeting each thrust

I pull you in closer

My fingers dig into your back

sex 8

Pressure building

Fireworks

Explosions

Our moment

Together

Before I wake

sex 9

We Are One

madness 7

The madness is hungry

 It has a voracious appetite

 It hypnotizes you

 With pools of deepest blue

 Until you’re drowning

 Lost in it

 You come up for air

 Gasping for breath

 It pulls you back in

 A whirlpool

 madness 11

 Spinning out of control

 Drawing you in deeper

 You can’t fight any more

 It consumes you

 No pain

 Waking

 Everything looks different

 Clear

madness 10

 Voices

 You’re not alone

 They welcome you

 Your brothers and sisters

madnesss 8

 The handsome Mad King

 His beautiful Cruel Queen

 The Brutal Prince

 We are Family

 Open your mind

 Bare your soul

 You must bleed

 Not many understand

 But here

 We are One

madness 8

Fear

dark night

Wind howling

Owls hooting

Rustling of leaves

Nervous glances

Footsteps behind me

Shivers

Goosebumps

Heart beats faster

Mind races

Pace quickens

Who is that

Whistling?

Growling?

Running

Stumbling

Turning

Screaming

Glinting steel

Pushed forward

Crimson rivers

Darkness

TOK 57

“This is based on Matt Farnsworth’s character The Orphan Killer” All rights reserved”

Kindred Spirits

Our Keeper recently wrote a wonderful piece about FANTASY which has always been a big part of my world.  I always seemed totally at ease losing myself in a fantasy world as a child.  I had my iTunes on one day last week and this song came on…I’ve always had a specific fantasy associated with it ever since I first heard it in high school and now I can get it out.  I added a little to it but the core of the story is the same.  It’s not really long but sit back, listen & enjoy.

http://youtu.be/ml27iliGAME

Merrill awoke to the pounding on his door. Opening it he discovered Owen, the town’s doctor, in a state of panic. His daughter Caitlyn had disappeared…he discovered her gone this morning. He was begging for help & being the town magistrate Merrill had his duty to investigate the incident. He quickly dressed & left with Owen towards his home. When they arrived Owen’s wife Krista and son Peter were talking excitedly. They hushed when the men entered the room. Merrill asked to see Caitlyn’s room…to see if he could find any evidence of foul play.  Her room was sparse & clean…he found no evidence of any struggle and nothing was missing.  The window was open…walking to the outside he noticed fresh footprints in the soil outside.  He was able to follow them briefly through the dirt until they disappeared into the field surrounding the house.  The field went on for miles before meeting a deep expanse of woods in the distance.  With Owen’s help he gathered some men together to start a search.

Caitlyn wandered through the field in a daze not knowing where she was going. She had no memory of leaving home. She remembered everything from the day before…church that morning, the afternoon picnic with her family, meeting Liam afterwards & going to bed that night. But everything after was a blur. She had no idea how long she’d been out or even where she was. The hem of her nightdress was covered in mud as were her bare feet. She found herself walking toward a small copse of trees, like she was being pulled towards it by an unknown force. As she reached the outer boundary she heard the sound of splashing coming from deeper inside. Slowly making her way inside she came out of the trees into a small glen, in the center of which was a pond of the most beautiful clear blue water. Looking around she noticed animals of all sorts at the edge of the pond. She was facing north, and on that end the bank rose over the edge forming what looked like a small seat. She walked over and sat there, leaning over the edge gazing at her reflection. She could see the shapes of the fish swimming there, even turtles. All of a sudden she felt a shift in the atmosphere…the animals were suddenly deathly quiet, the air felt still. She stood up looking around when she felt she was being watched. Turning around she saw him directly behind her, staring at her. He walked around down to the ponds edge, dipped his head down & took a long drink. The sunlight shown directly on him bouncing off his golden horn. She felt as though she was rooted to the spot & when he came back and stood in front of her she fell to her knees crying. He knelt down & stared into her eyes; she felt an instant connection as though he could see every thought & experience she’d ever had.  Laying his head in her lap she felt the tears flow & drop onto his snow-white skin. She felt as though they sat there for hours when he raised his head & stood up.  As he began to walk away he turned his head to her, met her gaze and she swore she heard a voice say “Come with me” and she smiled as she happily followed him into the woods.

The men rode hard through the field until they reached the woods.  It was hard making their way through the trees but after a while they came out upon the small glen.  The animals had disappeared…the air and water in the pond were still.  Merrill & Owen dismounted and walked around the bank until they saw the hoofprints going into the woods on the other side followed by bare footprints.  Assuming they were Caitlyn’s they followed them through the trees.

They had been walking all morning but Caitlyn wasn’t even tired.  As she followed him she felt a peace she had never known.  She still couldn’t remember how she got to the field earlier that morning but events from her life & the day before came flooding back.  Her father wasn’t a bad man but had a nasty temper…he could get angry very quickly and she had sometimes felt the brunt of it.  She’d hoped once she got older & settled things would change but he was still trying to run her life.  She had known for a while he wanted her to marry Liam, the son of the town’s magistrate.  He was handsome & well-liked but she had no feelings for him at all…honestly she had no interest in anyone in the town.  The day before Liam had come to ask for her hand…she told him she needed to think about it and he had left feeling she would agree.  That entire night she felt like she was trapped in the middle of something she couldn’t escape.  But she’d awoke from a strange dream she couldn’t remember…the next thing she knew she’d found herself wandering through the field.  They were now headed towards the mountains in the distance.  It was late afternoon and she felt if they kept up this pace they should reach them before nightfall when she heard something behind them.  Turning she saw the riders coming towards them…she noticed her father immediately & panicked.  She turned to the unicorn who whickered to her softly and with a motion of his head she knew what he was asking.  She ran to him & leapt onto his back as they rode towards the mountains.

As they came out of the woods Owen noticed a shiny glint in the distance ahead of them in front of the mountains.  Riding towards it he saw Caitlyn and another creature he couldn’t quite be sure of what it was.  As they got closer she saw them & ran towards the animal…he could see it looked like a white horse but there was something different about it.  It turned it’s head towards them and he almost stopped dead in his tracks as he was now fully aware of what he was seeing.  He saw her leap up onto it’s back and ride off quickly towards the mountains.  As he watched them he felt sure he would never see her again but he wasn’t going to give up so fast.

They rode hard into the mountains as it got darker.  Caitlyn kept looking behind them…she had seen the look on her father’s face & knew he wouldn’t give up.  Once they reached the base of the range he began to climb…he was very surefooted and never faltered.  Within moments they came upon a small plateau and she climbed down to look around.  The mountains got very steep & rocky…she wasn’t sure they’d be able to climb any more and began to worry they would be caught.  Looking back towards the woods she saw them reach the mountain’s base.   She could hear her father calling her and as she turned she noticed the unicorn with his head down…his horn was glowing and as she watched in amazement wings sprouted from his shoulders.  She smiled & hugged him as she jumped on his back…within minutes they were flying low over the group of men and she gave her father one last glance as they took off into the sky.  She had no idea where they were going but with him she would never be alone.

You Are My Drug

I have never felt so much love in my heart as now

But I’ve also never felt more alone

It’s hard, being away from that someone

Who is your whole world

Not knowing when or if you will ever even meet

The ache I feel sometimes drives me deep into despair

It’s like a knife in my heart

Someone stomping on my chest

I try to just be happy

Knowing that someone out there loves me

Really loves me with all his heart & soul

But being without him sometimes makes me crazy

No one has ever loved me like this

I’ve never loved like this

Sometimes love really does hurt

But the good moments

When we’re able to talk & just be happy with each other

I feel like I’m floating on a cloud

It’s intoxicating

If there is a Heaven this has to be what it’s like

I can’t imagine anything any better.

http://youtu.be/450p7goxZqg

I wrote that earlier this morning but couldn’t quite finish before I left for work.  As soon as I got in my car I turned on the radio & the first song that came on made me think WOW…listening to the lyrics it just seemed like maybe everything will be ok.  “We’ve gotta hold on to what we’ve got. It doesn’t  make a difference if we make it or not. We’ve got each other and that’s a lot for love We’ll give it a shot.”

http://youtu.be/lDK9QqIzhwk

Forever

flying heart

My heart soars

When I think of you

Your warm embrace

Your radiant smile

You understand me

Like no one else

You love me no matter what

When I am down

You lift me up

And make me smile

Despite myself

Nothing seems impossible

With you by my side

We can take on the world

You and I

Nothing can ever stop us

Or come between us

My love for you will never end

We will be together

Forever

together forever