Life. Fucking. Sucks.
We’ve all said it at different times. We’ve all experienced our own trials & tribulations…some expressed & some that we’ll take to our graves.
At the moment, I have a few good things going for me. Good friends, a job, my son who is the best thing…I also have love, unlike any I’ve ever known. I’m a middle-aged woman in the middle of a divorce who’s found true love for the first time in her life…and I should be happy right? No…because the love I want has been shoved so far out of my reach it makes each day of my meaningless existence even harder to bear. It’s like living in Hell. I know I’m not alone…I know he suffers too…and there’s nothing either of us can do about it. I get moody & depressed…pour out my feelings here. Sometimes I feel like I sound like a broken record…it’s all the same. No one wants to hear my pathetic whining over & over again. But I can’t help it.
It’s the only release I have.
I haven’t been online as much as I used to…some of you may have noticed, or maybe not. The drama lately has forced me into a hole…I don’t like it, don’t want it or need it…and it is mostly petty, trivial. Lost a good friend because of it…a lot of us did. And I was furious. Because of one person’s dissention. It’s just not as much fun as it used to be…and I’m tired. Old & tired. Not many people I talk to on a regular basis anymore…the ones I do know who they are and I appreciate it more than I can say. You’ve helped me through so much. But I miss my happy family…and I’m not sure if it will ever be the same.