The End of the World


It was going so well
putting the past behind me
memories fading
moving on
no more sadness
tears or pain
the light in my eyes
once so dim
slowly began to return
I laughed more
people noticed
I was starting
to feel free again
and smile
but all it took
was a song
flipping through the stations
and there it was
on the oldies channel
not our song
I can’t listen to that
but the words
were like a knife
plunged into my chest
ripping out my heart
and tossing it to the floor
the tears began to fall
as I sat in my car
remembering how that felt
when you broke my heart
and my world ended


darkness 7

by the beauty
the silken threads
of Darkness
I am safe
the looming silence
is soothing
I am not afraid
lying there alone
I am myself
I can hide
my pain
and fears
no one
can see
or judge me
In the Darkness
I am invisible

darkness 6


scars 2

I’m getting better
Day by day
the depression has left me
my mind is clearer
I no longer feel
the horrible pain
only the lingering sense
of loss
things that could have been
the wounds have healed
but scars still remain
I know now
we weren’t meant to be
the light
is slowly making its way
back in
fighting the darkness
but I like the darkness
it comforts me
old & new friends
are making it easier
without them
I would fade away
and die


True Romance

victorian romance 1

Speak to me
with beautiful words
of elegance & grace
treasured phrases
Make my heart flutter
my knees feel weak
Enrapture me
Let me gaze into your eyes
and drown in their depths
Touch my hand
Entwine your fingers
with mine
Stroke my palm
gently with your thumb
The softness of your voice
caresses my skin
like silk & satin
Like precious stones
the words fall
from your tongue
I feel faint
Sliding closer
your hand around my waist
a soft kiss on my cheek
turns my skin crimson
when quietly you whisper
the five words
I’ve longed to hear
“I want to fuck you”

victorian romance

Death’s Gift

*prior required reading  The Pit of Fire

reaper & queen 8

She couldn’t breathe…like she was being suffocated.  The weight on her chest.  The pain.  Clawing at her throat…trying to scream & finding she has no voice.  It was unbearable.  Her face awash with tears…

She jerked awake as she finally found her voice, crying out loudly.  Just a dream.  She’d had so few since she arrived here but this one plagued her immensely.  She sank back into her pillow sobbing & then felt his arms around her…stroking her hair & speaking softly to comfort her.  The immortality he’d gifted her with did not take away all the pain & emotions she’d felt in her previous life.   He knew what she had suffered before he brought her here & had hoped she’d been able to put it behind her as the nightmares had been coming less frequent.   But it had been bad this time.   He softly sang to her Death’s lullaby as she drifted back to sleep quietly.

Awaking later she felt groggy.  Sleep was not a necessity anymore…she could go days without it now but every once in a while she felt she needed it.  When she did sleep it would be for usually just a few hours but she realized she’d been out for almost a whole day.  It was odd to think in that concept anymore…the passing of time here held no meaning as she could no longer see the sun rise & set.  As her mind cleared the memory of her nightmare was there again, but she tried to block it out.  It did no good to remember it…nothing from her past life mattered anymore.  She knew it would fade as the days went on.  Rolling over she reached for him but realized she was alone.  He’d stayed there with her until he knew she was sleeping & made sure to set watchers on guard to make sure she wasn’t disturbed.  He never slept but he knew she often required it.   He always made sure she wanted for nothing.

queen of hell 24

As she readied herself for the day she thought about the task ahead.   She was going to inspect the tombs…rooms where souls of the worst criminals were kept & tortured.   It would be her first trip there and he was going to show her personally.  The easiest way to get there was to go above ground then through a portal in an old house not far away.  Local legend states the house is haunted…they had no idea.   He met her on the path as she was walking to the great room & greeted her with a kiss…the memory of her nightmare faded completely.   She smiled  as he took her hand & led her down a long tunnel ending in a small dark room.  Upon entering he held her close as she shut her eyes & they were once again entering the void.   She felt she was falling…as in a dream…but was not afraid.   Within seconds they stopped.  She opened her eyes, turned around & saw the house.

haunted house 3

It was well after midnight here & the house was covered in fog.   She heard wolves howling in the distance & the sounds of other nocturnal creatures moving about.  When they reached the house she smelled the stench of death, rot & decay. She also smelled the coppery aroma of fresh blood.   Opening the door the odor almost knocked her over…it did not seem to affect him but to her still mortal senses it was overpowering.  She heard noises…scratching, clicking, chattering…all coming from behind the walls.  Like it was made by very large rats, or something worse.  She almost laughed at how she thought this would have terrified her as a human but now it was nothing.   He led her slowly down to the basement…the dirt floor was caked with blood & bones littered the floor around the walls.   Something stirred in the corner closest to them, growling, but not coming nearer.   He spoke something to it that she did not understand & it quieted…they passed by it slowly not looking in it’s direction.  A large arched doorway was in the far corner…again he held her tightly against him as they whirled through the void.  This time when it stopped there was a large white door in front of them with blood pouring out from underneath it.  As he turned the handle to open it they noticed a bloody hand print before stepping into the room.

blood 6

Blood was everywhere.  The walls were caked in it.   Several bodies in different states of decay had been thrown around the room.  They had been chewed on, mangled, but were still breathing.   Raspy sounds coming from the closest one proved this to be true.  She could see the chest rising & falling.  A child cowered in the corner covered in the crimson fluid.  The glint of steel…a knife held in her small hands.   As they stood looking upon this scene she turned to face them slowly…her eyes glowed like embers of coal.   He explained to her that the child had recently been possessed by a lesser demon who refused to leave her body.  He’d made her wander the woods before finding the house & a way down to the tombs using the strength of her body to do his work.

playtime 1

He walked over to the child & picked her up.  She screamed in his arms, hissing & clawing as he stared deeply into her eyes.  She let out an agonizing shriek & went limp.  She stood in the doorway & could sense the demon’s presence in the room as he left the girl’s body & took his anger out on the bodies littering the floor.  He walked to her slowly & put the child in her arms…turning back to the far corner the demon shrank from his gaze, begging forgiveness for his insolence.   He produced a small vial from his robe…she watched intently as he moved his arms in strange motions…the demon then screamed as he disappeared in a puff of smoke & became trapped inside the vial.    He handed it to her, telling her as long as the child carries it with her the demon would be frozen there forever.  He could not get out to re-posess her or  anyone else as long as she had it in her possession.   Unfortunately due to this the child was now trapped here with them.   He asked her if she would be willing to raise her & show her the ways of their world.  She was thrilled…she’d had a child once who died very young and almost began to cry looking at the girl asleep in her arms.   He knew this & said it was why he’d asked her to come with him today.   He could not always be with her and wanted to make sure she was not lonely.   She smiled as they walked back towards the door cradling her new daughter & envisioning her future with them.

reaper & queen 13

*to be continued Death’s Lessons


wolf 2

The wolf was howling at her door again.

Every night since she’d moved into her new house 2 weeks ago she’d heard him.  At first she’d thought it was the wind.  It was a low, mournful sound.   Then she’d asked the neighbors thinking someone’s dog had gotten loose but no one else had heard anything.  She heard nothing during the day, it was only late at night, after midnight, when the eerie howling would begin.

Sometimes it would skip a day.  Sometimes it was louder than others.  When she could sleep through it she had very strange dreams.  One night when she finally decided to look outside, she peeked through the blinds and saw him…a large white wolf, pacing in front of her door.  She watched him for several minutes before the howling began.  He turned his back to the door, lifted his head & began his cry.  It sent a chill up her back.  It was odd though…he wasn’t acting aggressive in any way, more nervous…like he expected something to happen & was just waiting.

One night after she’d gotten home late from work she noticed the door unlocked. She knew she’d locked it before she left…she was pretty anal about it and always checked several times before she left the house.   She slowly entered the living room, noticing nothing seemed disturbed.  Next to the front door was a baseball bat she kept there just in case she ever needed it.   Picking it up she walked through the house carefully making sure everything was ok.  Everything seemed fine…could she have somehow forgotten the lock?   She relaxed as she walked back to place the bat next to the door when she saw him…a man dressed in black hiding behind the front door.  Startled she dropped the bat.  She quickly reached to pick it up but he was on her, throwing her to the ground.  He had her hands above her head and when she tried to scream he put his other hand over her mouth, not saying a word.   In his hand was a small piece of cloth that he pushed inside to gag her.  He rose up quickly, sitting on her chest as he pulled out a piece of rope & bound her hands.   She was struggling, trying to force the cloth out of her mouth as he took a knife out of his pocket when she heard the low growl behind her.


The intruder heard it as well & looked up in shock as the wolf rushed towards him, hitting him square in the chest & biting down hard on his throat.  She rose up slowly watching in amazement as the man tried to grab the wolf around the neck with one hand & reached for his knife with the other as his life blood began to flow.  The wolf snarled & tightened his jaws lunging in even closer as the man found his knife & brought it up, clumsily stabbing the wolf in the side.  It seemed not to notice, didn’t even flinch as it just bore down harder on him.  Attempting to scream the man tried to keep his grip but the wolf was too strong.  She heard the crunch of bone as the wolfs teeth squeezed tighter & then the man went limp.  The wolf held him in his jaws for another minute before letting go & licking the blood from its jaws.  She moved in a bit closer & he turned to look at her quickly before disappearing out the door.   When the police arrived she told them what happened…she was sure they didn’t believe her but what else could she say?  She then discovered that the man was a known felon…burglar & rapist who had just recently escaped from jail 2 weeks ago & had been seen prowling the neighborhood but no one had been able to catch him.

She went to the hospital in the ambulance as a precaution.  She wasn’t hurt but they had to make sure.  When she arrived home again she cleaned herself up again & got ready for bed after checking all the locks several times.  Suddenly, there it was again.  The howling.  She was no longer frightened by it.  She knew he was protecting her…why, she had no idea.  But as she drifted to sleep that night she new she would always  be safe with her guardian there.


If Only For A While

lost love

You’ll see me smiling
because I can’t show
the pain I feel inside
How much my heart hurts
just to think of you
Mostly I’m ok
but I still have moments
and the tears fall
No one can see that
It can be hard to hide
I try my best
but sometimes
I have to let go
I’d kill to have a pill
to make it go away
Make me stop feeling
and go back to normal
but no matter how bad it gets
I’ll never want to forget
how happy we were together
if only for a while

The Pit of Fire

*prior required reading…My Old Flame

Queen of Hell 1

I am the Queen of Hell
I made my blood pact
and by my lover was given
the immortal kiss
I can reign with him forever
I am completely comfortable here
as if I’ve always belonged
As I wander through my new surroundings
I get the strangest feelings of deja vu
The smallest creatures
imps and larger demons
step aside as I pass by
They respect me as they do their master
and I have been given a free hand
They know anything I tell them
must be obeyed

queen of hell 7
I come upon a large lake
a pit of fire
Screams of the tormented reach my ears
For their crimes they must forever burn
I stand on a high ledge, watching
but feel I am not alone
it is cavernous
Many areas for creatures to hide
As I look around I notice something shiny
a glint of steel out of the corner of my eye
A woman steps out from behind a crevice
Flowing crimson hair
Eyes so blue they cannot be real
Scythe singing sweetly in her grasp
just like it’s companion
that is always held by my lover
I recognize her immediately
although we have never met
She is his Kindred
She smiles at me in greeting
no words needed
and stands next to me on the ledge
We take in the scene below
Something is amiss
I go to investigate
followed by my new Sister

queen of hell 9
Demons cavorting at the lakes edge
torturing the damned
One is fighting them
and as my eyes fall upon him
I recognize him as someone from my past
Someone who caused me great pain
and shall now pay for it
Recognizing me he cowers
He can sense my authority here
and knows nothing can save him
An evil grin spreads upon my face
My Sister looks at me as if reading my thoughts
as the demons can
Silently I give them instructions
He is bound to a rock close to the edge
Small sparks flying out of the fiery water
fall upon his flesh
He cries out in pain

queen of hell 19
Tiny demons come out of the corners
They fall upon him
Biting with small sharp teeth
flaying small areas of skin
His screams go unnoticed
No one pays him any attention
but his tormentors
I move away slowly
as they free him from the rock
and carry him to the waters edge
The flames lick the bank
They toss him into the pit

queen of hell 8
The new wounds that were inflicted
only make the pain stronger
He shall remain there forever
burning but never dying
We turn & walk back to the ledge
She must leave now
but I know I will see her again
I feel the presence of my lover
as he has come to greet her
and the Scythe’s sing together
the sweetest song of pain

queen of hell 23

*to be continued…Death’s Gift

My Old Flame

dead soul 3

I had never felt more lost…alone & broken

the love I wanted, needed, so badly

had been ripped from my grasp once again

my eyes cloud over, filled with tears

Days go by…I am fine in the light

but the night is different

I have always loved the darkness

but now, alone with my thoughts

I can only think about what I have lost

and feel the madness begin to take over

I close my eyes trying to escape the pain

and as I begin to drift away

I hear a familiar voice beckoning

It is an odd, scratchy sound

and I see him there in the corner

hand stretched out to greet me

grim reaper 7

and as I look into his eyes

I am no longer afraid

We knew each other long ago

loved each other deeply

but I was young & not ready

for the commitment he required

Older & wiser I invite him in

He says he has never forgotten me

and knows what I have suffered

He offers to take me away from the pain

Gladly I run to his arms

shivering in his cold embrace


He takes my hand & we disappear

into a void

Holding him close I shut my eyes

I can smell the sulphur

as we fall faster & faster

with the wind rushing all around

Quickly everything stops

He steps away from me

I open my eyes and adjust to the light

blood 4

Pain, death, destruction…Hell

this is truly a place of nightmares

there is so much to see I can’t take it in at once

At first all I can see is Red

everywhere, everything is Red

then I can make out figures moving

they wander around as if blind

moving closer they stop as they sense me

Knowing that I am different from them

bloody 1

They scream at me

Begging for release from their pain

There was nothing I could do for them

If I was to remain here as his Queen

I would rule over them as he did

with no emotion, no feeling

Demons came out of hiding

moving at lighting speed

they fell upon the tortured souls

feasting upon their flesh

blood 2

I stumbled back as I watched the horrific scene

and began to smile

As I looked around I saw other things

things unfit for normal human eyes

things that would send any normal being

into raging fits of madness

but I felt completely comfortable

I drank it all in

Surveying my new home

surrounded by unholy tortures

dead soul 4

He stood watching me as I took it all in

Turning back to him I took his hands

and pledged my undying devotion

I could sense he was lonely too

He had been here forever

with no one by his side

grim reaper 9

We walked through enormous caverns of darkness

past lakes & rivers of fire

red with the blood of those who had fallen

screams & cries of the dying

unending torture

more horrific than any Bosch painting

I could be completely happy here

and as I ascended the steps to his throne

another materialized next to it

he placed a bloody crown upon my head

and I was home

grim reaper 2

to be continued…The Pit of Fire

Love is a Fairy Tale

true love

Once upon a time

I had a thing called Love

and it was beautiful

I felt alive & happy

Special & beautiful

Every day was fresh & new

We talked about the future

Dreams we had

Shared our desires & emotions

I gave you my heart

It had been broken

several times before

 and was still scarred

 but you fixed it

Put all the pieces back together

heart in hands 2

It felt so real

I still believe it was

in the beginning

but something changed

there were small signs

& love was blind

I did not see what was happening

until it was too late

Now, hurt & angry

I cry myself to sleep

not knowing what lies ahead

What I believed to be my destiny

Has been left far behind

along with my heart

the pieces smaller than before

dark path 1

I stumble through the day

traveling my path

hanging at the edge of the abyss

Devoid of feeling

but terrified

of it happening again

getting too close

once more

I doubt I would survive

another break