Rat-atouille

I’ve been down here for weeks now
maybe months
I can’t really be sure
time means nothing anymore
I get so hungry sometimes
and he doesn’t feed me much
it’s always cold
and tastes like shit
but it’s better than nothing
I stopped crying a while ago
even speaking
it does no good
he never pays attention
I don’t know him
and I still don’t know
why I’m here
not even sure
how I got here
in this dirty hole
I have no memory
of anything
he hasn’t been here at all
lately
the rancid air is so thin
and light here is bad
just a little brightness
through the small door window
high above
I almost didn’t see the rat
but I heard it in the corner
there isn’t enough room in this box
for both of us
and I was so hungry
it didn’t taste as bad as I thought

 

THE QUEEN OF HELL

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AND…

Obsession

Killer silhouette behind door with frosted glass

you don’t know how many times
I’ve watched you walk past that window
how many times I wish
you would come outside
and say hello
just smile at me
let me know it’s all ok
but every day it’s the same thing
you continue to ignore me
like you always do
its agonizing
completely frustrating
how can you not understand
my true feelings?
maybe tonight will be the night
maybe you’ll feel as much pain as I felt
when you broke my heart
when you rejected my advances
maybe
once the knife pierces your skin
your eyes glaze over
you’ll realize how much I really love you
I always have
and then you’ll be mine
Forever

queen of hell 4

The Queen of Hell

unrequited reapings

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Bloodbath

creepy 46

I’m surrounded by nutbars

They permeate the very air I breathe

I cannot escape

hurting them makes no difference

the screaming and wailing

constant crying

only increases the annoyance

maybe if I killed them all

I could finally be free

and a celebratory bloodbath

would make me feel much better

queen of hell 4

The Queen of Hell

unrequited reapings

pick up a copy of my new book on Amazon available in paperback and for Kindle

http://www.amazon.com/Unrequited-Reapings-Carolyn-Graham/dp/151533645X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1441066765&sr=8-1&keywords=Unrequited+reapings

Masterpiece

creepy 34

I sit here quietly contemplating
barely breathing
my fevered brain
trying to decide
which road to travel
the age-old battle rages on
deep inside me
like a demon waiting
screaming to break free
whispering
her secret machinations
there is no silence there
I long to break the chains
loose her on the world
but such catastrophic consequences
horrifying atrocities
would surely mean my end
and not every person here
is as evil as she says…
or are they?
could she possibly
be telling the truth?
do they all secretly wish
that I would die?
are they all plotting
to kill me?
I have seen Him
the one you call Death
that lovely sweet fragrance
of nightshade
permeating the air
a regular visitor
to this place of nightmares
He has no want of me
not yet
the world is still waiting
for my bloody masterpiece

creepy 39

The Queen of Hell

queen of hell 4

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http://www.amazon.com/Unrequited-Reapings-Carolyn-Graham/dp/151533645X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1441066765&sr=8-1&keywords=Unrequited+reapings

unrequited reapings

Switch

switch 2

One too many times I have told that stupid bitch to leave me the fuck alone but she won’t listen. The repetetive whining & screaming all day, all night. I can barely get any sleep and I’m so tired.
Little does she know that I have bodies hidden in my basement, and if she knows what’s good for her she’ll shut up before she becomes an addition to my collection.

Finally, a little bit of silence.
But there seems to be no end to the insanity in this place. There’s no one to rely on anywhere, no one I can trust.
I’ve been bullied for so long, pretty much my entire life…all of my self-confidence stripped away and shattered on the floor.
People wonder why I steer clear of crowds, why I don’t go to parties or socialize even at work.
Because every time I meet someone new I’m afraid…afraid of putting myself out there once again and having my heart ripped to pieces. It’s happened over & over & over.
The abuse won’t stop…it’s a never-ending vicious cycle. Years of being told what to do…how, when and where.
By him and everyone else. It’s like I can’t fully let myself go and even attempt to have a normal life. Like I was ever “normal”.
They will all pay. Like the ones before.

My hands are starting to shake because she’s screaming at me again. I feel like I’m being pushed over the edge once more and it’s all her fault.
Stupid cunt.
Sometimes I don’t want to do it but I can’t stop it once it starts. When it sets firmly in my head that it’s going to happen there’s no way out. It’s like a switch going on, everything else just goes dark and it’s all I see…blood & bodies lying everywhere. Nothing else matters after that.
And there it is.

switch 1
That pop…I feel it every time and it’s like a giant rush of energy all at once. And it feels so good…like an orgasm. I start laughing as I quickly walk up to her and smash her face into the corner of the table. I hear the crack of her nose as it hits the heavily varnished wood and imagine it splintering parts of her skull into her brain. Maybe I should try to see if I can dig the pieces out but that would take too long and I can’t stay here. Damn, it was too quick. The force of the blow was enough to kill her. Physically I’m not that strong. Dealing with him for years…he never let me go anywhere. Just wanted me always around at his disposal for anything…he didn’t even care that I’d gotten soft around the edges though I was still attractive enough to warrant his attentions. He was the first to die…and he suffered gloriously for all those years of confinement. We lived in the middle of nowhere and only the slinking creatures that prowled around our dilapidated hovel heard his screams echoing through the night.
It was just one of those things that you hear about on TV sometimes…someone in great distress or urgency finds this inner strength they never knew they had. It was like that every time. It was like I became something inhuman and I reveled in it. I buried him in the basement…there were a few others there now and I’ll dig a fresh hole for her.

It really didn’t matter to her anymore. She didn’t care what anyone else thought about her at all. She was free and could finally do whatever the fuck she wanted.
She didn’t care if she got caught. She was just going to take as many of those bastards down before that happened.
It’s all about revenge, plain and simple. And she felt like she was just getting started.

It was dark…I had to get her back to the basement fast. I didn’t even know how to drive…no one ever taught me so I had to try & teach myself quickly once he was gone. She never taught me and he didn’t want me out of the house. She had assumed he’d ran off with some whore from town & said it wasn’t right for me to be out there by myself so she’d dragged me back to live with her until he came back. He would never come back and I’m not sure what was worse. She had abused me constantly as a child…I was always in the hospital and they even took me away once when I was 10 but she got me back after my brother died. I had gone to live with my aunt & uncle a few miles away and was finally happy, for a little while. But one night a few weeks later they found Mikey on the floor all bloody & bruised with her leaning over him screaming. He was only 4. She tried to claim he fell down the stairs but I didn’t believe her…not after what she had done to me. I hated her so much but they forced me to go back to her. They said it would lessen her grief after losing him. Her grief? What about my grief??? No one gave a shit about me. They never had. But they would now.

switch 3

The Queen of Hell

Queen of Hell 3

unrequited reapings

pick up a copy of my new book on Amazon available in paperback and for Kindle

http://www.amazon.com/Unrequited-Reapings-Carolyn-Graham/dp/151533645X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1441066765&sr=8-1&keywords=Unrequited+reapings

Insomnia

insomnia 1

I can’t sleep anymore
every time I try I feel them near me
that slight bump on the bed
whispers in the dark
why do they always wait til now?
I work all day
and get so tired
I just need to go to bed
but they won’t let me
I’ve resorted to lunchtime napping
in my car at the office
otherwise I’d go insane
they don’t seem to reach me there
and no amount of coffee helps
last night was the worst
I could feel their hands all over me
long nails scratching
pulling and tugging
kicking and screaming
crying does no good
I’ve booked a hotel tonight
just to get some rest
the room is so quiet
drifting off to peaceful slumber
sudden explosions in my head
jolt me out of my dream
laughing close to my ear
sends chilled tremors up my spine
they’ve found me again
jumping up & down on the bed
malevolent assholes
I can’t go on
they will never give me peace

insomnia 2

The Queen of Hell

Queen of Hell 3

unrequited reapings

pick up a copy of my new book on Amazon available in paperback and for Kindle

http://www.amazon.com/Unrequited-Reapings-Carolyn-Graham/dp/151533645X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1441066765&sr=8-1&keywords=Unrequited+reapings