Frazzled

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it’s all too much
I can’t seem to make heads or tails of it
why does everything have to be so final?
there are just too many raw emotions going through me right now
nothing makes sense
my head hurts from all the tears
and I’m hungry
I haven’t eaten anything today
I can’t sleep either
I’ve tried
I’m so exhausted
my body feels as if it’s worn to a frazzle
but the Sandman has disappeared
he’s such a bastard
never around when you need him
the wind seems to be blowing relentlessly outside
the song from my windchimes is a strange comfort
I wonder if she’s stopping by to say hello?
and now it seems as if someone is knocking at my door
it is my darling Reaper
his cold embrace offering little comfort
as my keening continues

queen of hell 4

The Queen of Hell

 unrequited reapings

pick up a copy of my new book on Amazon available in paperback and for Kindle

http://www.amazon.com/Unrequited-Reapings-Carolyn-Graham/dp/151533645X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1441066765&sr=8-1&keywords=Unrequited+reapings

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Masterpiece

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I sit here quietly contemplating
barely breathing
my fevered brain
trying to decide
which road to travel
the age-old battle rages on
deep inside me
like a demon waiting
screaming to break free
whispering
her secret machinations
there is no silence there
I long to break the chains
loose her on the world
but such catastrophic consequences
horrifying atrocities
would surely mean my end
and not every person here
is as evil as she says…
or are they?
could she possibly
be telling the truth?
do they all secretly wish
that I would die?
are they all plotting
to kill me?
I have seen Him
the one you call Death
that lovely sweet fragrance
of nightshade
permeating the air
a regular visitor
to this place of nightmares
He has no want of me
not yet
the world is still waiting
for my bloody masterpiece

creepy 39

The Queen of Hell

queen of hell 4

pick up a copy of my new book on Amazon available in paperback and for Kindle

http://www.amazon.com/Unrequited-Reapings-Carolyn-Graham/dp/151533645X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1441066765&sr=8-1&keywords=Unrequited+reapings

unrequited reapings

Labyrinth

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I feel like I’m lost in a dream
no, a nightmare
someone out there is watching
but I can’t see them
it’s just a shadowy figure
in a darkened corner
and I can’t find my way out of this maze
the voices are sobbing uncontrollably
I can hear them clearly
but the sounds are empty and hollow
there is no one here
I see a dark and viscous crimson liquid
pooling at my feet
slowly dripping from my hands
the deep wounds at my wrists
now I understand
realization hits me hard
like a sledgehammer against my skull
this is my personal Hell
and I can see Him now
the Reaper is waiting
patient and smiling

reaper shadow
He is calling to me from the shadows
Scythe humming sweetly by his side
but they won’t let me go yet
my demons are so much stronger
I cannot shut them out
it’s creating a thick fog
clouding my fevered mind
and I’ve become blind
I have no recourse
but to stumble through this labyrinth
hands now groping for my feet
clawing away the flesh
until it feels as if I’m walking on glass
bones shattering underneath me
I cannot even cry
He seems so much closer now
I see His skeletal hand reaching out
He wants me
if I could only get to Him
I would be free of their torment
but they will not allow it ever
this is my eternity of unending torture
but if I could somehow reach Him
if there is just the slightest possibility
at least I have a goal
something to work towards
surely He wouldn’t be there
if it wasn’t possible

creepy 16

THE QUEEN OF HELL

queen of hell 4

pick up a copy of my new book on Amazon available in paperback and for Kindle

http://www.amazon.com/Unrequited-Reapings-Carolyn-Graham/dp/151533645X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1441066765&sr=8-1&keywords=Unrequited+reapings

unrequited reapings

The Messenger

the daily grind

exhausts Him

but He never sleeps

and works constantly

it’s a vicious cycle

someone has to do it

and He hates it

because people hate Him

they don’t understand

He’s not the cause

He’s just the Messenger

but still

they are afraid

they don’t want to see Him coming

because once they do

it’s over

messenger

The Queen of Hell

queen of hell 4

pick up a copy of my new book on Amazon available in paperback and for Kindle

http://www.amazon.com/Unrequited-Reapings-Carolyn-Graham/dp/151533645X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1441066765&sr=8-1&keywords=Unrequited+reapings

unrequited reapings

Behold A Pale Horse

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The thing she saw standing in their dirt driveway was the poorest excuse for a horse she’d ever imagined. Where in Hell did it come from? It was early in the morning and she was just heading to the chicken coop to gather eggs when she saw it. She called for her father as she slowly walked around the beast but not getting too close.
It was so dirty she couldn’t tell what color it was, its mane & tail full of leaves, twigs and burrs. It was also extremely thin as she could count each rib bone under its mud-covered coat.
She heard the screen door of their small house open and her father’s footsteps as he came up beside her.
“Jesus Christ Abigail!” he exclaimed, “What it God’s name is that?”
“Well I’m assuming its a horse dad, but I’ve never seen one in such horrible shape before.”
She could sense the creature’s labored breathing as she walked slowly towards it, holding out her hand and whispering softly, “It’s ok, don’t be afraid. No one here will hurt you.”
It turned it’s head towards her slowly, regarding her with its large brown eyes that were the only thing on it that gave of any sense of life. And then it moved, more like hobbled towards her and snapped at her hand before it fell to the ground screaming in pain.
Her father ran towards the horse as it shakily got to its feet and reared, barely missing his head with a lash of its hooves. She was surprised it had enough energy even for that as it settled back down, shaking and stomping its feet. Abigail tried whispering to it again to calm the frightened horse down as her dad went to the barn. He returned a few minutes later with a syringe full of a mild tranquilizer and as she put her arms around its neck he injected the liquid. It jumped slightly but seemed to be much more relaxed and they were able to lead it into an empty stall.
“Wow Abby, what are we going to do with this guy?” he thought for a second then looked underneath the horse. “Yep, I was right. It’s a guy.”
She laughed, “I think the first thing we need to do is call animal control to see if anyone knows anything about him, and then give him a good bath and some food. Doesn’t look like he’s eaten in a while.”

horse 1

Her dad pulled out his cell phone and stepped outside the barn to make the call as she poured some water into a bucket and set it down in front of the emaciated animal. He acted like he wasn’t even sure what to do until she pushed his head towards it, then he smelled the water and greedily started gulping it down. Not knowing how long it had been since he’d eaten she put a cup-full of oats in a smaller bucket next to the water and she wasn’t surprised at how fast he inhaled them. Abby gave him a bit more water then went to get the supplies together to give him a much needed bath.

It took several hours and gallons of water later to get the horse clean, and even then he was a sorry sight. He was even thinner than she thought at first and was so tired from all the exertion his head was hanging almost to the ground. Having been around horses all her life she felt extreme anger to whoever had let him get in such a deplorable condition. He got very agitated again and dad had to give him some more tranquilizers so they could complete their work on him. She had finished brushing his coat and dad was picking his hooves clean while she put away all the cleaning equipment. He’d given all the information he could to animal services but no one had reported a missing horse, especially one in his state. He had no halter or even a rope on his neck…they had no idea where he came from so for now I guess he’d have to stay with them.

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Abby had finished fixing up the stall for the horse when something spooked him. His eyes were wide and almost white, ears back and he made the strangest noise, unlike anything she’d ever heard come out of a horse before. He glared at her while she backed up trying to talk to him, calm him down and it seemed to work. He wouldn’t let her near him though as she tried to set him at ease, just kept stomping at her when she came too close as maybe he was trying to warn her away. She checked his water before closing the stall door and just stood there for a while looking at him, trying to figure out if she’d ever seen him on any farm in the area. His coat was dry and it was a dull gray, sickly and pale. His eyes were clear though…his head was right in front of hers and staring into them it seemed she could see ancient cities in flames. She laughed & shook her head blaming her imagination, knowing full well it was impossible to see such things in the animal’s eyes.
“Goodnight old fellow” she said. “Maybe you’ll do better in the morning after a good rest.”
She heard him whinny softly as she walked out of the barn but it had an ominous sound to it, and she shivered as she entered the house.

Abby could barely sleep that night…she was having horrible nightmares of burning cities & rivers of fire. She woke up several times and after the last one she went into the kitchen and sat at the small table waiting on coffee to brew. Thinking hard she tried to remember more details about the dreams…she’d never had any so terrifying. She heard a noise in the direction of the barn and it was then she remembered the horse had been in all her dreams…standing on a rocky ledge overlooking the inferno in the presence of a shadowy hooded figure. The sounds continued and against her better judgment she put on her coat & boots and headed towards the barn.

She opened the door and choked back her disgust as she took in the coppery scent of fresh blood. Holding her stomach she realized one of the other horses was lying in the middle of the floor dead with his stomach ripped open. The gray horse was hovering over him, scowling at her with his icy eyes and teeth covered in blood. He had gone through a dramatic transformation; still horribly thin but his ashen coat gleamed bright in the light of the lantern she held. She slowly backed up against the door and reached for the handle to open it when she saw Him in the corner of the stall. She couldn’t move and His glowing red orbs were burning deep into her soul. She tried to scream but with a quick flash of steel He was in front of her, his foetid breath smelling of sulphur and brimstone, the last thing she saw before her eyes exploded.

horse 2

** basilia-czar.deviantart.com

Queen of Hell 6

The Queen of Hell

unrequited reapings

pick up a copy of my new book on Amazon available in paperback and for Kindle

http://www.amazon.com/Unrequited-Reapings-Carolyn-Graham/dp/151533645X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1441066765&sr=8-1&keywords=Unrequited+reapings

Agrona

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He was gone, I was alone, and though I knew he would be back soon it seemed he’d been away forever.
There wasn’t even anywhere else for me to go. I had lost any interest long ago in traveling to the above world and anytime I even attempted it I became ill.
It just didn’t seem worth it anymore. There was no one there that I knew…everyone from my old life was now dead & had been for what seemed like centuries. Their memories faded more every day and even though I tried to hold on to some I new they would eventually disappear for good.
Kieran was with him. She was learning so fast, becoming a true master at her art and would soon go out on her own. It only meant that she would be away from me even more and I still had horrible bouts of loneliness.
He did not like it…me being by myself so much. His Kindred Sister often came to visit but she never stayed long as she had her own journey to make. I was tired even more lately…sleeping continuously for days mostly out of boredom even though I knew I didn’t need it all of the time. I was the Queen here but I ached for company.

I woke to the sound of whispers. As I lay there and quietly listened it seemed as if a thousand butterflies were flapping their wings inside my head. It was soft & soothing and I carried it with me for days floating weightlessly on the sounds. Somehow it managed to cure my melancholy but I wondered often how long it would last and possibly why it was there.
Often it would grow louder, softly buzzing for hours in my brain until I forced myself to sleep and then it would disappear. Occasionally it would go away for a day or two and then come back with a vengeance, like hundreds of bees alive in my head. On those days I could barely think and hid away even more.

This morning it was extremely loud but I found it was coming from somewhere else. It had left my body and was calling to me from deep inside the farthest caverns. The whispers had returned and spoke to me of wonderfully beautiful things. I left my bed and ventured out to find where the sounds were coming from.
I wandered for days following them, mellowed by their lyrical beauty until I came up on a small cave hidden beside the flaming river of blood. I needed to get on my hands and knees to crawl through the low entrance but inside it was high enough for me to stand & I saw it was lit by several stone lanterns. Then the whispers transformed…it became the sweetest music I had ever heard drumming directly beneath my bare feet. The soil was dark red and rock hard but I dug fiercely with my hands until they were bleeding from my efforts.

agrona 12
Her voice exploded when I breached the hollow where she had been entombed and I carefully removed her shroud. How long had she lain here waiting for me to find her? Gently grasping her thick wooden snath I slowly freed her from her crypt as she sang to me in a thousand different voices. Her lovely blade gleamed blood red in the glow of the fires when she suddenly went silent. My heart beat quickly as I listened and I heard a single word repeated over & over “Agrona, Agrona, Agrona…” I realized that it was her name she was revealing and tears fell as I sat on the floor of the cave clutching her to my chest and listening to her story.
A demon had hidden her there eons ago to get back at his master for a punishment he deemed unfit. I found it odd that he never mentioned it but it’s possible he had forgotten since so much time had passed. She had been sleeping patiently until she sensed my presence and was finally able to garner enough strength to contact me. But she was still very weak and needed badly to feed. I felt a new sense of strength inside myself just from having her near and knew that I could face the outside world again as I would have to to find her Prey.
I was happier than I had been in ages and as I left the cavern the air changed and suddenly He was there. My dark soul sang as I clung to him desperately…I had missed him so badly and felt as if I could finally breathe again.
He apologized for his extended absence as he kissed my tears away and was surprised to find me so far from our home until I told him what had occurred and revealed my treasured new friend. Her voice exploded again when he stroked her blade and she revealed her pain to him, naming her tormentor. He brought his own Scythe near, knowing they had been forged from the same steel, and vowed that she would have her revenge once she was properly fed & rested. She had suffered greatly but was once again part of our family. I knew she would always be by my side and I would be sure to bring her punisher to justice.

queen of hell 4

The Queen of Hell

unrequited reapings

pick up a copy of my new book on Amazon available in paperback and for Kindle

http://www.amazon.com/Unrequited-Reapings-Carolyn-Graham/dp/151533645X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1441066765&sr=8-1&keywords=Unrequited+reapings