“Hello? Who is this?”
No one answered, just static on the line.  She’d been in the kitchen when she heard the ring.  No one ever called this late at night and she was leery about picking up the phone but she did it anyway.   She heard herself asking the question again and getting nothing so she hung up the receiver.  She normally wasn’t up this late but hadn’t been able to sleep well after coming back from the funeral so she thought maybe a snack would help.  She went back to the kitchen to finish her prep when it happened again.
**ring ring**
It sounded so much louder this time she almost dropped the plate in her hand.  She decided against answering this time but for some reason her voicemail didn’t pick up.  It just rang and rang for several minutes until she couldn’t take it anymore and picked up again.
“Hello?  Hello?!  Who is this?  Why are you calling me so late?”
Again, nothing.  Just some light static but right before she hung up she almost thought she heard a voice.   So strange…it sounded like her husband.  But he was dead, they had buried him earlier that day and there was no way it could be him.  She’d made sure of that.  But it was so eerie & strange.  She waited a few minutes and went back to the kitchen.  She’d just placed her plate on the table when it rang again.  It seemed even louder than before & she felt like she’d jumped out of her skin.   She waited…waited…several minutes passed but the phone kept ringing.   She pulled the cord from the wall and it stopped so finally she thought maybe she’d get some rest.  But once again it began to ring, even after she unplugged it the damn thing wouldn’t shut off!  She picked it up again and there was that familiar static, then the voice. Low at first but it got louder…enough that she could make out that it was HIS voice. There was no mistaking it now. She’d heard that voice every day the last 12 years…always nagging & belittling her, making her feel worthless until she felt like she’d had enough. She’d poisoned his morning coffee and laughed when he started coughing & convulsing. But she was careful not to leave any traces so no one was the wiser. He’d never taken care of himself so they assumed it was his heart and didn’t even bother to do an autopsy. But now he was back…and she barely heard what he was saying as she sunk to the floor sobbing.  “Don’t cry baby…I told you I’d never let you go and I won’t…ever…I’ll call you every day until you go insane! Just because I’m dead doesn’t mean I can’t find you. No matter where you go I’ll be there…anyone you’re with, anything you do I’ll know. *snickers* You have no idea what Hell is like…not yet. And I have all the time in the world.”

QoH 6

If only…


She waited at the corner
Trying not to look around franticly
Hoping to see him again
She remembered every detail
The tiny wisps of hair along his forehead
Dark blue eyes
The hint of his strong jawline under that cute scruffy beard
His confident stride
Maybe she’d get up the nerve
To say hi
Smile at him
Maybe he’d smile back
Like she thought she’d seen a glimpse of that day
She’d been back so many times just hoping
She felt as if she’d been waiting forever

If only she knew…

He was already there
Afraid to move
Watching her
The way the sun played upon her red-gold hair
Her face as she said hi to strangers passing
Maybe they weren’t strangers
it lit up the sky when she smiled
He was so nervous
That first day he saw her he had froze
He thought she’d smiled at him
But it may have been someone else
No way to be sure
But he liked to think it was all for him
How long would he wait?
Could he break his shyness and try to talk to her?
His feet were pasted to the sidewalk

If only he knew…





Do you see this knife in my hand?

Yeah, I can see that you do ’cause your eyes are bulging out of their sockets.

You really need to stop squirming…well actually you don’t because the more you squirm the tighter the ropes get & the more it cuts off your circulation that causes you more pain which is really all I want.

I want you to feel as much pain as you’ve caused me because I can’t stop thinking about you.

It’s been absolute torture no matter what I do.

I’ve tried cutting you out of my life.

I’ve tried ignoring you.

I’ve tried everything I can to get you out of my head but you keep popping up all over. Every time I turn around there you are so maybe this is the only way.

Maybe if I gouge out your eyes with this knife I won’t be able to see you in my dreams. Maybe.

And maybe if I cut out your tongue I won’t be able to hear your voice in my head anymore.

Maybe…maybe not…but I guess I should give it a shot.

Who knows, it might work.


devastated 2

I used to love you once
at least I think I did
It doesn’t matter anymore
I don’t understand how you can still behave this way
How can you be so clueless & act like nothing happened?
Do you not remember how you embarrassed me last night?
At the party…in front of our friends
I was completely devastated
Even they were shocked but maybe you didn’t see it
You didn’t even notice I left
This isn’t the first time you’ve done this
You want me to be something I’m just not
Something I never will be
I can’t do this anymore
I’ve been crying all morning
All you can say is I’ll get over it
and laugh it off like you always do
I’m so tired
If you can’t deal with me as I am
Just say so
I’ll leave
But don’t make me pretend anymore
It’ll always turn out bad
Mostly for me

devastated 1