Waiting

image
I’ve spent a lifetime
it seems
of Waiting for you
so much time
Waiting
for you to notice me
to tell me you care
for that next message
the next hug
your smile
that sparkle
twinkle
in your baby blues
the next I love you
hours
days
Waiting
for the tears
that deep empty ache
in my chest
to end
my broken heart
to mend
weeks
months
of just wishing
you would disappear
the memories would
simply stop
so I could breathe
again
without the pain
of knowing
finally realizing
that you’re
no longer Waiting
for me

queen of hell 4

The Queen of Hell

unrequited reapings

pick up a copy of my new book on Amazon available in paperback and for Kindle

http://www.amazon.com/Unrequited-Reapings-Carolyn-Graham/dp/151533645X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1441066765&sr=8-1&keywords=Unrequited+reapings

 

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Frazzled

reaper 108

it’s all too much
I can’t seem to make heads or tails of it
why does everything have to be so final?
there are just too many raw emotions going through me right now
nothing makes sense
my head hurts from all the tears
and I’m hungry
I haven’t eaten anything today
I can’t sleep either
I’ve tried
I’m so exhausted
my body feels as if it’s worn to a frazzle
but the Sandman has disappeared
he’s such a bastard
never around when you need him
the wind seems to be blowing relentlessly outside
the song from my windchimes is a strange comfort
I wonder if she’s stopping by to say hello?
and now it seems as if someone is knocking at my door
it is my darling Reaper
his cold embrace offering little comfort
as my keening continues

queen of hell 4

The Queen of Hell

 unrequited reapings

pick up a copy of my new book on Amazon available in paperback and for Kindle

http://www.amazon.com/Unrequited-Reapings-Carolyn-Graham/dp/151533645X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1441066765&sr=8-1&keywords=Unrequited+reapings

Descent

descent

where were you

when I needed you

when I was going under

the weight of the water

pulling me down

my hand outstretched

reaching

finding nothing

as I descend into darkness

queen of hell 4

The Queen of Hell

 unrequited reapings

pick up a copy of my new book on Amazon available in paperback and for Kindle

http://www.amazon.com/Unrequited-Reapings-Carolyn-Graham/dp/151533645X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1441066765&sr=8-1&keywords=Unrequited+reapings

Agrona

agrona 4

He was gone, I was alone, and though I knew he would be back soon it seemed he’d been away forever.
There wasn’t even anywhere else for me to go. I had lost any interest long ago in traveling to the above world and anytime I even attempted it I became ill.
It just didn’t seem worth it anymore. There was no one there that I knew…everyone from my old life was now dead & had been for what seemed like centuries. Their memories faded more every day and even though I tried to hold on to some I new they would eventually disappear for good.
Kieran was with him. She was learning so fast, becoming a true master at her art and would soon go out on her own. It only meant that she would be away from me even more and I still had horrible bouts of loneliness.
He did not like it…me being by myself so much. His Kindred Sister often came to visit but she never stayed long as she had her own journey to make. I was tired even more lately…sleeping continuously for days mostly out of boredom even though I knew I didn’t need it all of the time. I was the Queen here but I ached for company.

I woke to the sound of whispers. As I lay there and quietly listened it seemed as if a thousand butterflies were flapping their wings inside my head. It was soft & soothing and I carried it with me for days floating weightlessly on the sounds. Somehow it managed to cure my melancholy but I wondered often how long it would last and possibly why it was there.
Often it would grow louder, softly buzzing for hours in my brain until I forced myself to sleep and then it would disappear. Occasionally it would go away for a day or two and then come back with a vengeance, like hundreds of bees alive in my head. On those days I could barely think and hid away even more.

This morning it was extremely loud but I found it was coming from somewhere else. It had left my body and was calling to me from deep inside the farthest caverns. The whispers had returned and spoke to me of wonderfully beautiful things. I left my bed and ventured out to find where the sounds were coming from.
I wandered for days following them, mellowed by their lyrical beauty until I came up on a small cave hidden beside the flaming river of blood. I needed to get on my hands and knees to crawl through the low entrance but inside it was high enough for me to stand & I saw it was lit by several stone lanterns. Then the whispers transformed…it became the sweetest music I had ever heard drumming directly beneath my bare feet. The soil was dark red and rock hard but I dug fiercely with my hands until they were bleeding from my efforts.

agrona 12
Her voice exploded when I breached the hollow where she had been entombed and I carefully removed her shroud. How long had she lain here waiting for me to find her? Gently grasping her thick wooden snath I slowly freed her from her crypt as she sang to me in a thousand different voices. Her lovely blade gleamed blood red in the glow of the fires when she suddenly went silent. My heart beat quickly as I listened and I heard a single word repeated over & over “Agrona, Agrona, Agrona…” I realized that it was her name she was revealing and tears fell as I sat on the floor of the cave clutching her to my chest and listening to her story.
A demon had hidden her there eons ago to get back at his master for a punishment he deemed unfit. I found it odd that he never mentioned it but it’s possible he had forgotten since so much time had passed. She had been sleeping patiently until she sensed my presence and was finally able to garner enough strength to contact me. But she was still very weak and needed badly to feed. I felt a new sense of strength inside myself just from having her near and knew that I could face the outside world again as I would have to to find her Prey.
I was happier than I had been in ages and as I left the cavern the air changed and suddenly He was there. My dark soul sang as I clung to him desperately…I had missed him so badly and felt as if I could finally breathe again.
He apologized for his extended absence as he kissed my tears away and was surprised to find me so far from our home until I told him what had occurred and revealed my treasured new friend. Her voice exploded again when he stroked her blade and she revealed her pain to him, naming her tormentor. He brought his own Scythe near, knowing they had been forged from the same steel, and vowed that she would have her revenge once she was properly fed & rested. She had suffered greatly but was once again part of our family. I knew she would always be by my side and I would be sure to bring her punisher to justice.

queen of hell 4

The Queen of Hell

unrequited reapings

pick up a copy of my new book on Amazon available in paperback and for Kindle

http://www.amazon.com/Unrequited-Reapings-Carolyn-Graham/dp/151533645X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1441066765&sr=8-1&keywords=Unrequited+reapings

Waiting

lost

when he’s away I feel lost
it’s like I just don’t even know how to be myself anymore
all those agonizing seconds
minutes
hours
days
just waiting for him to come back
so I can see his face
that smile that touches deepest part inside of me
making me tingle
hear his voice
that amazing low growl
telling me what a good girl I’ve been while he’s away
and how much he loves me
I need to touch him
I need him touch me
soft & lovely
then much rougher
I need him to remind me
who I am
and who I belong to
this is complete torture
I hate waiting
but the rewards will be
sheer bliss

Queen of Hell 3

The Queen of Hell

unrequited reapings

pick up a copy of my new book on Amazon available in paperback and for Kindle

http://www.amazon.com/Unrequited-Reapings-Carolyn-Graham/dp/151533645X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1441066765&sr=8-1&keywords=Unrequited+reapings