la mort et l’amour

it matters not
the lines
the screaming
the pain
it’s everywhere
why?
no one cares
somewhere
maybe they do
breezes on the beach
wind in your hair
why can’t it be?
I would die
a thousand times
just for this
once
my heart would be
so full
love
it’s all that matters

THE QUEEN OF HELL

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AND…

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Eye For An Eye

“Murder is murder no matter who commits it…or why.” – Casey Novak, Law & Order SVU

They told me I was crazy but I know I’m not.
When I saw him step outside that coffee shop I went cold.
I remembered every detail of his face.
It had been ingrained in my memory since the day he abducted me 5 years ago.
Nothing would make that nightmare go away.
And how could they have let him go free?
They said it was consensual, I didn’t fight back, I never protested.
But he had drugged me, restrained me, gagged me…how could I?
I still have no idea how long I was there.
They said it was just a few days but it felt like weeks.
He was always there…talking to me, touching me, kissing me…
and yes, raping me.
So many times.
The first time I felt like I was being ripped apart.
So much pain.
After a while I just went numb.
I’m pretty sure I blacked out a few times.
But he wouldn’t shut up.
The whole time, every time, he kept talking.
How he loved me.
How we’d be together forever.
I just didn’t know it yet.
How he’d always watched me.
Stalker.
I’d felt for a while I was being followed but…
I shrugged it off.
He had to show me how good he was for me.
This was his insane way of proving it?
I just had to get used to him and everything would be ok.
I never said a word even after he removed the gag though he screamed at me…
beat me harder for my silence.
I didn’t care.
I just wanted to die.
Next thing I knew I was in the hospital.
I don’t remember much for days after that, not even how I got there.
He had left the basement window open just to get some fresh air.
Someone says they heard me screaming.
They said I was almost dead when they found me.
Still he got off.
Someone forgot to sign something somewhere in the proper spot and he was released on a technicality.
I remember screaming at him in court.
He looked at me with no expression, no emotion.
Said I enjoyed it…
and that he still loved me.
That eventually I would come to understand.
I never felt safe after that.
I tried moving, even changed my name.
But he was everywhere, I saw him in everyone.
I could hardly even leave my apartment.
5 years of torture and he was still free.
Seeing him after so long brought it all back.
My knees started to buckle…
I almost passed out but managed to grab onto a corner bench next to me and sat down.
He was on his phone, didn’t see me, but I somehow came to my senses.
I followed him all the way home.
They didn’t find us for 5 days.
Seems as his boss complained that he’d missed work.
He didn’t see me sneak up behind him.
When he opened the door I shoved him inside and he fell.
There was a lamp right inside on a table and I picked it up…
knocked him out with it.
I left fingerprints everywhere.
He woke up after I’d dragged him onto the bed and tied him up.
On his back.
He tried screaming through the duct tape I found but I couldn’t understand.
Didn’t want to…
didn’t care.
I needed something…long & hard.
Sodomy with a coke bottle is apparently not a thing he enjoys.
I wanted him to suffer as much as I had all those years ago.
Over and over again.
I screamed at him, beat him with his belt until he bled.
Found a baseball bat in his closet and smashed his knees.
Started beating his head with it.
That’s when he passed out for good.
Even then I couldn’t stop myself.
I started crying.
His head was nothing by then but a mangled, pulpy mess…
so much blood
Everything I did to him made me remember even more vividly what he did to me.
Still…I didn’t care.
And I didn’t stop.
Not til the cops dragged me away.
They couldn’t help me, couldn’t protect me or anyone else from him.
What if he’d done it to someone else?
They had no proof of that but it’s always possible.
I confessed.
Never went to trial.
I laughed during the whole process.
I was just glad he was dead.
They told me I was crazy.
No…I’m not.

THE QUEEN OF HELL

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AND…

Billy’s New Friends

Little Billy walked home from school that day, same as every day, past the old playground next to the abandoned church. Not sure why it was even still around…there were weeds everywhere and all the equipment was falling apart. Only one swing on the swingset was still intact. As he passed by he could hear the chains squeaking when the wind blew upon it. He wasn’t sure why but it creeped him out a lot. He wished he didn’t have to go anywhere near it but it was the quickest way home.
He had left school later than usual because Tommy was waiting for him outside the doors. Tommy was the school bully and he knew if he’d left when he was supposed to right after school he’d have been in really bad shape by the time he got home. It had happened before and he didn’t want to deal with that again so he waited, watching out the window till it got darker and he saw that Tommy had left. Walking past the playground now that night it was even scarier. The setting sun cast shadows on the ground and the swing creaked loudly in the early evening breeze. He suddenly had the strange feeling he was being watched…he then thought he saw something out of the corner of his eye but he was afraid to look back, then he heard a noise and turned around fast.
There was a doll sitting on the swing, one of those old baby-doll ones with a sort-of clowns face drawn on it. It hadn’t been there a second ago. He wanted to scream but couldn’t…he just closed his eyes & turned around. But when he dared himself to look back it was gone, only the swing was swaying and creaking. He heard an evil laugh coming from the old church then turned and ran all the way home.
He was in a panic by the time he reached his house, breathing hard and panting. No one was home yet but his older brother…he thought about telling him about it but he knew he’d just laugh at him & call him a cry-baby. As older brothers go he was pretty typical so he tried to put it out of his head. He was ok through dinner, doing his homework & everything else until he tried to go to bed later. Once all the lights were off and it was quiet, he could still hear the squeaky swing. Then he heard it again, that evil cackle right outside his window. He was terrified, afraid to move but forced himself out of bed and slowly peeking out the window he saw the doll in his yard. He stood there, petrified, as he saw its head move and it looked up at him, grinning wildly as he noticed movement behind it…and that’s when Billy realized the doll had brought friends.

THE QUEEN OF HELL

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AND…

Please?

please

I sat there quietly listening to him screaming from the other room.

He’d been wailing off and on for hours but I was tired and didn’t want to deal with him at the moment.
I sat up as the sounds softened to a low sob and rose off the sofa, slowly walking into the bedroom and stared at him with no emotion whatsoever.

I felt dead inside. Seeing him there, tied to the bed, covered in blood, a pickaxe burried in his right knee…there was no pity or emotion. I bore many scars…some on top of each other from his years of relentless torment. He had killed everything in me therefore his suffering meant nothing to me at all. His eyes widened as he saw me and he began screaming again, calling me every foul name he could think of but it had no affect. I sighed as I picked up a large meat cleaver and as I raised it slowly over his right calf he began to cry. I looked at him as he quietly whispered “Please…please Katie”.

“Please? How many times did I say that to you and you never stopped?” and my eyes glazed over as the blade fell.

queen of hell 4

The Queen of Hell

 unrequited reapings

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http://www.amazon.com/Unrequited-Reapings-Carolyn-Graham/dp/151533645X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1441066765&sr=8-1&keywords=Unrequited+reapings

Bloodbath

creepy 46

I’m surrounded by nutbars

They permeate the very air I breathe

I cannot escape

hurting them makes no difference

the screaming and wailing

constant crying

only increases the annoyance

maybe if I killed them all

I could finally be free

and a celebratory bloodbath

would make me feel much better

queen of hell 4

The Queen of Hell

unrequited reapings

pick up a copy of my new book on Amazon available in paperback and for Kindle

http://www.amazon.com/Unrequited-Reapings-Carolyn-Graham/dp/151533645X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1441066765&sr=8-1&keywords=Unrequited+reapings

Masterpiece

creepy 34

I sit here quietly contemplating
barely breathing
my fevered brain
trying to decide
which road to travel
the age-old battle rages on
deep inside me
like a demon waiting
screaming to break free
whispering
her secret machinations
there is no silence there
I long to break the chains
loose her on the world
but such catastrophic consequences
horrifying atrocities
would surely mean my end
and not every person here
is as evil as she says…
or are they?
could she possibly
be telling the truth?
do they all secretly wish
that I would die?
are they all plotting
to kill me?
I have seen Him
the one you call Death
that lovely sweet fragrance
of nightshade
permeating the air
a regular visitor
to this place of nightmares
He has no want of me
not yet
the world is still waiting
for my bloody masterpiece

creepy 39

The Queen of Hell

queen of hell 4

pick up a copy of my new book on Amazon available in paperback and for Kindle

http://www.amazon.com/Unrequited-Reapings-Carolyn-Graham/dp/151533645X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1441066765&sr=8-1&keywords=Unrequited+reapings

unrequited reapings

The Spot

wall 1

She couldn’t stop looking at that spot on the wall. Every time she thought about it she’d stare at it for several minutes before glancing away. And it always seemed bigger.
When she first saw it across the room she thought it was nothing but a big bug. Walking over to smash its brains in she saw it was just a smudge, like a smear of dark charcoal in the corner of her bedroom. She lightly touched it, felt nothing odd so she ran her finger across it but nothing came off. She shook her head and walked into the kitchen, pulled a rag out of a drawer & some cleaner, tried to wash it off but it wouldn’t disappear. She frowned, her forehead crinkling as she walked away, trying not to think about it.
Waking up the next morning she noticed it had grown more…it was now about the size of a baseball and the center was slightly darker. Looking deep into it she almost felt as if she could reach right inside…like something out of a cartoon. But this was real life. Shit like that didn’t just happen. Still, she was afraid to touch it again. She tried a few times but always stopped before her finger met the wall.
Day after day the spot grew bigger…not by much but enough to be noticeable. After a couple of weeks it was almost bigger than a basketball, and occasionally she felt as if she heard noises coming from inside it.
She couldn’t even bring herself be in the bedroom anymore…she had no close friends or family in the area to stay with so she’d begun sleeping on the couch just to be away from it. Anything she needed out of that room she kept in the living room so she didn’t have to go in the room much at all. But she’d look at it, stare at it as she passed the open doorway. And she was terrified.
Later that night she’d come home from work and as she was walking to the bathroom she heard the voices again.
It was very deep, started low but as she listened it grew much louder. She was petrified but looked towards the bedroom wall and saw the spot was as big as a car tire. The middle was a swirling grey mass and she felt pulled towards it. Before she knew what was happening she was directly in front of it and as she stared into the center a face appeared! She screamed & lost all conciousness as the hands reached out to pull her into the void.

wall 2

The Queen of Hell

Queen of Hell 6

pick up a copy of my new book on Amazon available in paperback and for Kindle

http://www.amazon.com/Unrequited-Reapings-Carolyn-Graham/dp/151533645X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1441066765&sr=8-1&keywords=Unrequited+reapings

unrequited reapings