Sanguine

she could feel
all the lines
every ache
in every pore
the skin cracked
bleeding at the seams
droplets on the carpet
it was so dark
and the impression of it
was heavy
weighted
it didn’t seem to
make any sense
it was quiet
as if deep inside
a tomb
but her labored breaths
hung in the air
filling the room
with the only sound
except the plops
lightly
hitting the ground
the floor ablaze
pooling
with crimson fluid

THE QUEEN OF HELL

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AND…

Eye For An Eye

“Murder is murder no matter who commits it…or why.” – Casey Novak, Law & Order SVU

They told me I was crazy but I know I’m not.
When I saw him step outside that coffee shop I went cold.
I remembered every detail of his face.
It had been ingrained in my memory since the day he abducted me 5 years ago.
Nothing would make that nightmare go away.
And how could they have let him go free?
They said it was consensual, I didn’t fight back, I never protested.
But he had drugged me, restrained me, gagged me…how could I?
I still have no idea how long I was there.
They said it was just a few days but it felt like weeks.
He was always there…talking to me, touching me, kissing me…
and yes, raping me.
So many times.
The first time I felt like I was being ripped apart.
So much pain.
After a while I just went numb.
I’m pretty sure I blacked out a few times.
But he wouldn’t shut up.
The whole time, every time, he kept talking.
How he loved me.
How we’d be together forever.
I just didn’t know it yet.
How he’d always watched me.
Stalker.
I’d felt for a while I was being followed but…
I shrugged it off.
He had to show me how good he was for me.
This was his insane way of proving it?
I just had to get used to him and everything would be ok.
I never said a word even after he removed the gag though he screamed at me…
beat me harder for my silence.
I didn’t care.
I just wanted to die.
Next thing I knew I was in the hospital.
I don’t remember much for days after that, not even how I got there.
He had left the basement window open just to get some fresh air.
Someone says they heard me screaming.
They said I was almost dead when they found me.
Still he got off.
Someone forgot to sign something somewhere in the proper spot and he was released on a technicality.
I remember screaming at him in court.
He looked at me with no expression, no emotion.
Said I enjoyed it…
and that he still loved me.
That eventually I would come to understand.
I never felt safe after that.
I tried moving, even changed my name.
But he was everywhere, I saw him in everyone.
I could hardly even leave my apartment.
5 years of torture and he was still free.
Seeing him after so long brought it all back.
My knees started to buckle…
I almost passed out but managed to grab onto a corner bench next to me and sat down.
He was on his phone, didn’t see me, but I somehow came to my senses.
I followed him all the way home.
They didn’t find us for 5 days.
Seems as his boss complained that he’d missed work.
He didn’t see me sneak up behind him.
When he opened the door I shoved him inside and he fell.
There was a lamp right inside on a table and I picked it up…
knocked him out with it.
I left fingerprints everywhere.
He woke up after I’d dragged him onto the bed and tied him up.
On his back.
He tried screaming through the duct tape I found but I couldn’t understand.
Didn’t want to…
didn’t care.
I needed something…long & hard.
Sodomy with a coke bottle is apparently not a thing he enjoys.
I wanted him to suffer as much as I had all those years ago.
Over and over again.
I screamed at him, beat him with his belt until he bled.
Found a baseball bat in his closet and smashed his knees.
Started beating his head with it.
That’s when he passed out for good.
Even then I couldn’t stop myself.
I started crying.
His head was nothing by then but a mangled, pulpy mess…
so much blood
Everything I did to him made me remember even more vividly what he did to me.
Still…I didn’t care.
And I didn’t stop.
Not til the cops dragged me away.
They couldn’t help me, couldn’t protect me or anyone else from him.
What if he’d done it to someone else?
They had no proof of that but it’s always possible.
I confessed.
Never went to trial.
I laughed during the whole process.
I was just glad he was dead.
They told me I was crazy.
No…I’m not.

THE QUEEN OF HELL

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AND…

Billy’s New Friends

Little Billy walked home from school that day, same as every day, past the old playground next to the abandoned church. Not sure why it was even still around…there were weeds everywhere and all the equipment was falling apart. Only one swing on the swingset was still intact. As he passed by he could hear the chains squeaking when the wind blew upon it. He wasn’t sure why but it creeped him out a lot. He wished he didn’t have to go anywhere near it but it was the quickest way home.
He had left school later than usual because Tommy was waiting for him outside the doors. Tommy was the school bully and he knew if he’d left when he was supposed to right after school he’d have been in really bad shape by the time he got home. It had happened before and he didn’t want to deal with that again so he waited, watching out the window till it got darker and he saw that Tommy had left. Walking past the playground now that night it was even scarier. The setting sun cast shadows on the ground and the swing creaked loudly in the early evening breeze. He suddenly had the strange feeling he was being watched…he then thought he saw something out of the corner of his eye but he was afraid to look back, then he heard a noise and turned around fast.
There was a doll sitting on the swing, one of those old baby-doll ones with a sort-of clowns face drawn on it. It hadn’t been there a second ago. He wanted to scream but couldn’t…he just closed his eyes & turned around. But when he dared himself to look back it was gone, only the swing was swaying and creaking. He heard an evil laugh coming from the old church then turned and ran all the way home.
He was in a panic by the time he reached his house, breathing hard and panting. No one was home yet but his older brother…he thought about telling him about it but he knew he’d just laugh at him & call him a cry-baby. As older brothers go he was pretty typical so he tried to put it out of his head. He was ok through dinner, doing his homework & everything else until he tried to go to bed later. Once all the lights were off and it was quiet, he could still hear the squeaky swing. Then he heard it again, that evil cackle right outside his window. He was terrified, afraid to move but forced himself out of bed and slowly peeking out the window he saw the doll in his yard. He stood there, petrified, as he saw its head move and it looked up at him, grinning wildly as he noticed movement behind it…and that’s when Billy realized the doll had brought friends.

THE QUEEN OF HELL

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AND…

Rat-atouille

I’ve been down here for weeks now
maybe months
I can’t really be sure
time means nothing anymore
I get so hungry sometimes
and he doesn’t feed me much
it’s always cold
and tastes like shit
but it’s better than nothing
I stopped crying a while ago
even speaking
it does no good
he never pays attention
I don’t know him
and I still don’t know
why I’m here
not even sure
how I got here
in this dirty hole
I have no memory
of anything
he hasn’t been here at all
lately
the rancid air is so thin
and light here is bad
just a little brightness
through the small door window
high above
I almost didn’t see the rat
but I heard it in the corner
there isn’t enough room in this box
for both of us
and I was so hungry
it didn’t taste as bad as I thought

 

THE QUEEN OF HELL

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AND…

If only…

She waited at the corner
Trying not to look around franticly
Waiting
Hoping to see him again
She remembered every detail
The tiny wisps of hair along his forehead
Dark blue eyes
The hint of his strong jawline under that cute scruffy beard
His confident stride
Maybe she’d get up the nerve
To say hi
Smile at him
Maybe he’d smile back
Like she thought she’d seen a glimpse of that day
She’d been back so many times just hoping
She felt as if she’d been waiting forever

If only she knew…

He was already there
Afraid to move
Watching her
The way the sun played upon her red-gold hair
Her face as she said hi to strangers passing
Maybe they weren’t strangers
it lit up the sky when she smiled
He was so nervous
That first day he saw her he had froze
He thought she’d smiled at him
But it may have been someone else
No way to be sure
But he liked to think it was all for him
How long would he wait?
Could he break his shyness and try to talk to her?
His feet were pasted to the sidewalk

If only he knew…

THE QUEEN OF HELL

 

One Of These Days

for two years I was your puppet
always there when you needed me
I’d do anything for you
I stood up for you
supported you
always had your back
against all the haters
you inspired me
motivated me
showed me I could be so much more
than I realized
but now you’re gone
like a ghost
disappeared
vanished into thin air
without barely a word
for months
and it makes me wonder
if I ever really mattered to you
at all
but I still love you
I know I always will
and one of these days
you’ll regret saying goodbye

The Queen of Hell

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