it matters not
the lines
the screaming
the pain
it’s everywhere
why?
no one cares
somewhere
maybe they do
breezes on the beach
wind in your hair
why can’t it be?
I would die
a thousand times
just for this
once
my heart would be
so full
love
it’s all that matters
THE QUEEN OF HELL
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AND…
you made me feel like I was special
like I was somebody
I was finally part of the in crowd
and people were actually jealous
jealous of me
because I was worthy of your attention
after being so broken
so many times
I was happy
happier than I’ve been in ages
so what happened
why did it sour so quickly
what did I do that was so wrong
to make you leave without a trace
abandoned
alone again
a year later the pain is still there
I doubt it will ever go away
sometimes it does for a while
I can take a deep breath
and remember what happiness was
but then there are nights like tonight
when all I want to do
is either feel sorry for myself
cry myself to sleep
or let the anger take over
and stab you in the face
well…
I write about shit like that
I would never actually act it out
but sometimes thinking about it helps
my self-confidence has not recovered
and I can’t forgive you
not yet
maybe someday
but I doubt it’s going to be anytime soon
it’s been an extremely rough year for me
in more ways than one
but I hope you’re happy
I don’t expect a response to this
in the end…
I just needed to tell you how I feel
how I still feel after all this time
The Queen of Hell
pick up a copy of my first book on Amazon available in paperback and for Kindle
I’ve spent a lifetime
it seems
of Waiting for you
so much time
Waiting
for you to notice me
to tell me you care
for that next message
the next hug
your smile
that sparkle
twinkle
in your baby blues
the next I love you
hours
days
Waiting
for the tears
that deep empty ache
in my chest
to end
my broken heart
to mend
weeks
months
of just wishing
you would disappear
the memories would
simply stop
so I could breathe
again
without the pain
of knowing
finally realizing
that you’re
no longer Waiting
for me
The Queen of Hell
pick up a copy of my new book on Amazon available in paperback and for Kindle
are you okay?
I really hope you are
because I’m not
not since you left
I thought you loved me
but now i realize
it was all a lie
nothing is the same
you won’t even talk to me
I keep trying
I still love you though
I still worry about you
I want you to be okay
and I want you to know
how sad I am
how often I cry
how physically painful it is
every day
to love someone
who threw you away
The Queen of Hell
pick up a copy of my new book on Amazon available in paperback and for Kindle
watch the bloody sequel to The Orphan Killer…TOK2 BoundXBlood now on Vimeo
I can hear you out there
as I lie here drowning
you seem so far away
and all I want to do is
slip away
sleep
just ignore it all
but you won’t leave me alone
please
stop
I can’t endure it anymore
the constant hurt
sadness
and fear
it’s too much
why do you even care?
no one else does
you probably don’t
really
let me close my eyes
please
The Queen of Hell
pick up a copy of my new book on Amazon available in paperback and for Kindle
watch the bloody sequel to The Orphan Killer…TOK2 BoundXBlood now on Vimeo
Words From The Underground 